Adventures in Germany,

       When I was stationed in Germany, I wanted to go fishing, so it was off to the Rod and Gun club I went. I asked the clerk how I would go about getting a fishing license, he obliged by giving me a pamphlet and telling me when the next class would be. I was confused and asked "Class?' he said yes, and stated that German law required a certification class to fish. Well my desire to fish was stronger than my distaste for the classroom, so I signed up.

      My German fishing license looked a lot like a passport, photo and all,

 the classes consisted of fish identification, local laws, customs and their local, federal rules and regulations. It also covered the payment schedules they had in place for each species -more on this later in the post-, it was not an easy course, especially with the language and cultural differences, as well as my youthful thinking that, I knew everything possible to know about fishing. Plus, I had some not so positive, kind of embarrassing history with the instructor. The instructor was the stereotyped German woman that could easily pass for a Viking, very gruff, deep voice, she was someone to fear. My first encounter with this Viking of a woman, was in a course called Headstart. Its a course in which they teach newly arriving soldiers and airmen how to speak enough German to get along, things like; were is the train station, fork, spoon and the always important how to order beer, and how to count so you could order more then one beer.

    Before I was stationed in Germany, I was able to take a vacation back home and visit the family over Christmas, and of course I had to visit all of my awesome cousins, aunts and uncles, one of my favorite uncles, Uncle George, talked to me about when he was stationed over there, he even taught me a phrase to use and said it would help me with the German girls. Somehow I remembered that phrase, god how I wish I hadn't. One day in the Headstart course, the Viking queen asked if anyone knew any German, I triumphantly raised my hand, -which Dad said never to do when your in the Army- I then boldly repeated the phrase that my Uncle George had taught me. I was immediately confronted with a red faced Viking of a woman whom forcefully and threateningly told me to leave the class and wait for her in the hallway. The words my Dad had told me were now ringing very clear and very hard in my ears, "Don't ever raise your hand or volunteer for anything Larry". Well I nervously waited in the hallway for the Viking Queen to come out of the class room, when she did she stood at least 7 feet tall, and she asked me if I knew what I had just said to her, I meekly replied no ma'am. She then stated "you told me to come over here with my panties in my hand" I almost fainted, but I played it as cool as a private could under those circumstances. I let my advanced training take over, controlled the stress and the shaking my body was going through and said in a voice that sounded as if I was going through puberty again, "sorry, but my Uncle taught me that".  So if you read this Uncle George, there is a very big, Viking looking lady looking for you.

      The strangest thing I found about fishing in Germany was they did not practice catch and release. Each fish you caught you had to keep, then take it to the town center that had jurisdiction for the water you were fishing, they would weight and measure them, after which depending on the species and weights, you paid for the fish you caught, kind of like a strangely weird self catch, self checkout, seafood market. One day while fishing a river I liked to fish, next to an old medieval looking village, I was taught by an old German fellow how to release the fish without actually touching them, hence avoiding the fees to fish.  What he did was, he used a three foot piece of a tree branch and would peg the free treble hook on the end of the stick and then flip it, waa-lah clean release. He told me in broken English if you touch it, you buy it, then coyly smiled and went on fishing. I was fortunate though, the local Rod and Gun club had leased a few streams from the communities and planted small rainbow trout there for soldiers to fish, were we did not have to pay to play.

       Fishing in Germany was fun and as fishing always seems to do, takes you back to a simpler time, when fishing was everything and the stress of the world and jobs, did not control most of our time.  When a simple pole, a hook and a worm was all you needed, and a slow moving stream gave you a chance to reflect on life, let go of the stress and just enjoy the moment and catch a few fish. It should also take you back to a peaceful time in your childhood, when everything was so new and so fantastic.